im sorwie ppl
its been a long time, i post things on my blog
hoho, kinda dead rite !
haha, now, free, so feel like blogging la

hmm, ektaullie, all dis while,
im kinda bz bcoz of :
~ 2 upcoming dikir performances,
~ raya outings

it seems not dat bz,
but, indeed i am
haiiya !

all the
cold carbonated drinks
+
raya cookies
+
lontong
+
spaghetti
+
ape ape yg terhidang dlm raya month

=

sore throat






god damn it !
i cant kluakn suare when rehearsal for dikir
shit uhh !!
now need to jage my throat
dunc drink carbonated drinks animore kay, marissa

haiissh !
i miss JUF!
god ! i noe u lost ur fone,
i dunno why when u all me,
always i bz,
den i ask u to call me back later,
u nvr call back
erggh!
den how? i call ur bro no.
later he make noise at me how?
i die seyhh.
hmmm, bby, call me uhh,
please =)

it's been quite long i didnt post anything in dis blog
was fully packed because of:
- raya visits
- trying to get fat *sleeping most of the time hehe*
- training for upcoming events

haiish, hehe, but, it was fun laa.
yesterday, went to orchard country club,
played bowling and snooker with abg udyn
haha, was so damn fun
tankiiew abg !
i win the bowling game and also 2/3 games of the snooker
jux learnt on that day, and i tried to learn fast
annd. yeehaw ! i won 2/3 of the game
hehe

hmm, Juf, la plak
cant be contacted dat easily,
fone lost, still havnt get replacement yet
so, need to contact his bro to contact him
now oso, his bro like irritated oreadie,
so, i jux wait for his call den.

so, kesimpulan nye,
marissa da naik 1 kg,
hehe, my skiinny jeans cant be worn.
EHEM. hehe

becoming more like a pig nowadays
hmph
go raya visting, keep eating and drinking carbonated drinks
on the way to ppl house, sleep
fuuh, seriously, like pig siol
hehe
but, weight remains as per normal,
haiish. hehe




becoming a house dog oso
hmph !
usuall, all my laundry, i nid to my own,
haiish !! dat was early half part of the year
and now, need to wash, hang, fold
the whole family laundry
hmph. damn it, tired siol

haiish, nemiind
and he didnt call me since raya eve
wad happened?
make me worried
if u read dis post, pls call me.
hmm.

was busy today and yesterday.
hmm, u noe, i noe.
kemas sini, kemas sane,
deco sini, deco sane
ANDD, i customized my bed drop


~from winnie the pooh ~




to ~smiley faces~



_________________________________________________________________________________________________

so, i want to have a get this opportunity to ask for forgiveness
klau terkasar bahase,
termarah,
tersinggungkan perasaan
dan ter~ yang sewaktu dgn nye



ok, he dint contact me for
2 full days
arrgh

oh god, tmr will be the last day of fasting month,
damn, so fast,
and jux now was the last day of teraweh,
of coz, i went, hmm, was sad,
ramadhan is gonna leave us,
the month of ramadhan is full of baraqah,
which means blessings,
i did my teraweh prayers jux now, and
let it all out jux now, hmm. =)
asked for forgivess . haiishh

so, syawal is coming in 1 day,
i still dunc hav the feeling to celebrate
i dun noe whhy,
haiishh, maybe oni kids find it best
as dats whre dey gonna get money collection
as for me, i dunc noe if i can still get money on hari raya
hmm, hmm, but, in real nid of money now
to pay my damn bill
errghh, tt's $108 bucks. plus i need to pay school fess too
oh god !!
no money, how how?

went to training jux now,
combined training for pesta raya
dis coming 18 oct, hmm
training was ok

but, kecoh
uu noe wad?
haiish, something bad happen abt endang. =(

oukkae, nemiind.
my dad sent me to school earlier for training.
was happy², den when gg back home
found out dat
my wallet was not in my bag,
gosh, how clumsy
didnt know whre i put

in my heart:
pls, tell me i didnt event brought it to school
haiish, heart was going dag, dig, dug
fuuh, was supposed to meet Juf,
haiish, i cant let this be,
jux pray hard dat my walllet was safely at home

tanks to rina, she gave me money to take the train home
went home, pray for dzuhur n asar
find, find, find,
skali, its under my bedsheet
god ! marissa, how clumsy can u be?



hehe, aft dat,
ape lagi, rush to meet Juf =)
hehe, so happy,
have been weeks i didnt meet him
went to eat at java indonesian cuisine.
was nice, his treat =) i loike
hehe =)
mwuuahh !




*had web-cam-whore with kuzzy. hehe*

oukkae, dats for today !
happy fasting all muslims =)
lil bit more to go,
and we can enjoy ! =D

*come in left ear, come out right ear sdah! ~ rock on*

damn
all my fault

ayah: psl kau uh, ayah beli remote tv salah
me: of coz uh ngah tdo mati, ane dgar fone bunyik
ayah: mcm gini kau tkya ade fone suda
ibu: uh mmg, abeh kene gi jurong point alek, beli remote baru

wad the hell! all my fault
hello !! i slept at 6am in the morning,
of coz i in another world siol
lau org kat sblah sepak sepak ke
tuang air kat leher ke
aru lah aku bleh angon

siak siak siak. ergh
nemmind, masok kiri, klua kanan
pi mampos. ergh

__________________________________________________________________________



and suddenly paki started a convo with me yest
wanted to ask khabar and all
and now i noe
why guys call me irritating
bcoz, when they wanna ask me out or sumting
i would say, see how, ntah, tk shurre, hmm.
haiish, kae, i'll try not to kae,
miss u uhh giler !
haha, nant bini u bunoh u nant lau die bacer nie.
hohoho


and, its been a long time,
i cant meet him
asl nk meet je,
ade je bende yg menghalang
damn it damn it
juf, i miss uu bby

it was a fun but tiring day
memuji kesabaran ku juga
hehe, my job was actually simple
but, comes to controlling the public
mcm mcm perangai la manusia nihh

tk mengape, ape pon,
i hav to bersabar
and enjoy,
HOHO

being called the
PRIMARY 3 student, baek pehh!
irri IRRITATING
tapi best. hehe
i loike, mengeratkan siratulrahmi =)




bby, im sorwie
i didnt mean it
im sorwie,
forgive me, please
i syng u
really
jux hope dat nothing bad
would happen before we are official
hmm, im really waiting

IM SORWIIIEE, forgive me please

from the time i woke up till
after i break fast
cookies, cookies n more cookies
till i got back ache
fuuuhhhh




ice cream cookies =)





choc chips ala marissa
hoho!!
coz got secret recipe

nice, nice,
come my house and try kaes

dis is gonna be a boring post. HOHOHO

early morning, eat, make cookies
finished quite fast, den thre was
lightning n thunder !!
cant sleep aft dat, haiissh,
was tired, but stayed up

i edited pictures,
played fish a fish,
and other nonsensical things





went to training, i swear,
if i noe, i wont come
ergggh, like oni 7 ppl come
best kepe?!
nemiind, learnt intro,
hear TOT's sumbangseyh voice
OPPS, sorry. hehe

i dunno why today i so the pelat
hehe, oni-TOT-noes-wad-language-izzit
haha, *dah nk dkat HUJ, yok naek bas*
HUJ or wad, padahal hujan
from Ralph Lauren can become Luff Laulen
from pelat to POLOT, PALIT,
haha, loads more on the titanic
tersampok apentah, jadi pelat

hehe
got to meet WIRNI !!
yay, hope uu happy happy slalu yer =)



*he confessed =) wee~~*

*if u were to read dis post, its for u Juf*

today went to buy shoe for hari raye
my fone is dead again!
haiish, are uu mad at me?
how am i gonna contact u?
ur fone is lost
u didnt tell me abt it too
yesterday, u dint call me back,
i cant hav a chance to ask how are uu.
the last time u called me,
u were pissed with ur bro,
i was afraid to ask aniting,
and ur fone is lost.
haish, wad does dis tell?
do uu really wanna
end dis friendship?

erggh, im feel so sad,
he is the only one hu cared for me most
and i cant giv dat to him
i had no chance,
cant contact u at ur fone no more,
u're not online at msn,
im not shure if u block me or wad.
u deleted ur tagged,
i checked the imesh,
u deleted dat too.
haiish. jux wished he would come back,
i dunc noe wad else to do
bby, if u read dis post, can u call me?
i miss uu

“There is no love without forgiveness, and there is no forgiveness without love.”

Bryant H. McGill quotes

was supposed to report to skool at 1 for frame making
BUT, got out of house at 1, fuyooohh!
haha, pelajar tercontoh.
the frame making is for the Ramadhan on Wheels.
hmm. 270 to do
working like factory workers

1st, we have to cut the picture



2nd, take out frame from package,
put the pic inside



3rd, decorate the border


*mcm kindergarten kids seyhh, colour²*

hehe, if wanna put ribbon, put. hehe.
all pics are candid,
sorwie hard-werking ppl

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

haiish, he lost his fone
which means dat, i cant msg him no more
will nid to wait for him to call me
if he nvr call me,
means i cant listen to his voice
haiish :(

jux now he called, i was doing my sis's resume
i asked him to call later,
till now havent call me
errgh, so sad.. *sobx*
jux waiting, and keep waiting

if i call his home,
im afraid, his mom or dad pick up,
ehem, hvnt seen his parents yet,
so, pai seyh to call home
haiiiiiiisssssssssshhhhhhhh



haiish, bby, i dunno
every thing, i sala
i jux dunc understand
hmm, hope u would cool down fast yea


i dunc noe yy i was so bz today
woohoo!
tkpe BERIBADAH lah kan.
dlm bulan puase niie
hmm, time flies so fast,
left like 10 more days of fasting
fuuuhhh, very scared,
asking for forgiveness at the first day of syawal
later shurre *rain*
jux feel like i did hurt too much ppl dis year.




*wirni, marissa syng wirni. we will pray for you kaes, stay strong*
wirni HOT =)

today is not normal for me
but, tried to go along w/o msging him
trying to go with the flow
it's not me, usually, my fone will ring quite frequent for a day
today, i can say dat my fone is dead

went to training,
it was quite
i can say hell
i cant tepok 10 properly,
cant sing using my awok awok voice
i jux dunno yy
wad i do everything wrong
haiishhh

otw home, jux reminds me of him,
usually dis days, aft training will meet him
meet him at boon lay,
walk tgt home, haiish
today drop at lakeside, take bus home
haiish, miss all dat
i even closed my eyes for awhile,
tinking he's beside me. oh gosh

went home, bought back tako ball and cotton candy
hehe, to make me occupied,
do my daily prayers, suddenly
my fone rings. *abang² saye ipin...* my sms tone

it was Juf, yayness!!
hehe, asking me wad i was doing
i tink he cooled down oreadie
hehe, i dunno yy
i tink i love him
opps. haiish, jux so diif feelings
dat i had from my previous ex boyfs




* i miss u "winnie" *

fyi, i like to call my love one winnie
hehe, coz, i like to hug winnie,
hehe, so, when being missed,
jux hug winnie,
so, u noe, i noe.
hehe.

* i miss u winnie. *

it was going so well at the first part of the day
went to help for charity at SCWO
they are raising fund for woman and children that are family abused
if im not wrong, hee
we had fun despite all of the work we have to
they sell loads of stuff,
donated goods, shirts, skirts, shorts, trousers, all kind of costumes,
starbucks at $2 *was fasting, so cant buy, OOOPPS*



*thre's so much more OMG*







*was supposed to fold the
shirts and hang up some* huhu






*minat ke nan baju tuu?*
org suro lipat, kau posing plak !

__________________________________________________________________________________

aft dat, i tot i was going to be scolded with ibu
but, she was ok, so go with the flow
hee

haiish, i didnt contact much with Juf these days
was bz, schedule damn packed, haiish
wad to do, if msg, oso, jux ok, alrite, all dese

guess he was frustrated bcoz, it was jux not me
i would not reply those msgs with one werd
haiish, i jux cant admit it, i was so messed up
and im bz, errghh
im sorry, had a little chat at msn,
every werd he said made me cry
so, i choose not to talk to him
he said, lets end dis friendship





*trying to be happy*

i was just looking thru sorry poems
saw dis, reminded me of akmal

for u, akmal:

I’m sorry,
I’m sorry for all the times I’ve cried
I’m sorry for every single lie
I’m sorry I was never enough
I’m sorry I just wasn’t tough
Sorry I couldn’t make you smile
Sorry I didn’t make you stay a while
Sorry it was nothing more than sex
I’m sorry I have to call you my ex
I’m sorry you broke my heart
I’m sorry I tore you apart
I’m sorry we can’t get along
I’m sorry, I cry to every song
I’m sorry I hide when you come around
Sorry I hang my head, eyes always on the ground
Sorry we couldn’t make it
Sorry I just couldn’t take it
Sorry we never meant much
Sorry you LOVED to touch,
Sorry you couldn’t see past my looks
I’m sorry for every part of me you took
I’m sorry for all the pain you’ve caused
I’m sorry I let you in at all,
I’m sorry I pushed you away
I’m sorry you don’t deserve me in any way
I’m sorry we will never again meet
I’m sorry this as far as we will see,
Never past the words I’m sorry to the broken trust
Now all I see is the way you lust
I’m sorry we just weren’t meant to be
And I’m sorry you feel you never hurt me
What I’m sorry for most of all,
Is how I’m just say sorry, I haven’t been sorry at all.

i jux dunc understand !
when i woke up, i said im gg out to find job
and maybe habing my break fat outside
den u noe, wad she said?!

ibu:
kau nk jadi ape klua, klua je ari ari
kau da besar, lau nk kawen, skrg jgak ibu bleh kawen kan
lau suro uat keje uma, aru uat
ni blan ramadhan, asek nk klua je !!!!

saying all these with a 'tengking' tone

i jux dunc understand,
i oni buke lua when im having dikir
and its in skool. ERRRGGGH!
and the dinner with W47P, dats all.
wad the hell,
today i oni wanna find job.
wads the tengking abt?
ERRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHHH

tmr, gonna hav buke with my sec sch fwens,
ibu knows den all, whether she let me go anot,
im not shurre

sunday, iftar, errrghhh
if she dunc let me go,
i dunno wad to say !
im going out doing ibadah !

ibu tk pernah tanye pon,
kau alek kul bape?
ape kau uat
tk pernah amek kesah
asl angah klua je, ingat org gi hooray kat luar !
but, uu dunc noe the truth


ERRRRRRRRRRGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH
damn it

finding out ways how to stop crying
stop crying link!


found out dis website, maybe would help me in emotional situations



step 1: First, turn away from the people in the room for a few seconds, and take a deep breath.
Breathe all the way from your stomach.
This will calm you down.

step 2: If you can, excuse yourself to go to the bathroom.
This will give you a few minutes to compose yourself.
While in the bathroom, shake your body for a second.
Shake out as much tension as you can.
This will help you release some tension.

step 3: Whether in public or in the bathroom, give your arm a light pinch.
Do not hurt yourself - just pinch yourself enough to distract yourself.
You can do this discreetly.

step 4: Force yourself to smile. It may sound silly, but this will give you something to concentrate on,
and your smile will allow you to show the room that you're doing well,
and it will not appear that you are about to cry.

step 5: If possible, step away from the person who is upsetting you and talk to someone else.
Beginning a happier conversation with a different person will help to lift your spirits.
If you need to talk to the person who is upsetting you later in the day,
you will have given yourself time to compose yourself.

step 6: Tell yourself that you are strong and you can overcome the need to cry.
If you believe this, you can make it happen!

http://www.ehow.com/how_4585777_stop-yourself-crying-inappropriate-situation.html
the words given in the steps looks simple to do
but, i tried a few times, its hard.
so hard to control dat tears
erggggh

haiish, seriously,
like dis, i dunc feel like celebrating hari raya also
errrgggh
find job, hari werk,
got more money.
go raya for 1st day oni.
ergggh, damn it damn it

hoho, i wanted to put the 400bucks cheque in my account
so, i rushed to the bank before gg to training,
took the bus, reached inter.
and found out dat.....
i forget to bring my bank book,
coz i tot i wanted to go to the counter and transfer it the bank book,
the card wouldnt help.

so i rushed back home to get my bank book.
omg, the weather wasnt helping too,
i was perspiring like *ehem*

ok, reached POSB, the line was like a snake
waited n waited. *crick crick crick*

den, when i reach the counter,
she said, they cant help me get the money today
if the money was transfer, it will take 2 or 3 days
i needed the money to pay my DUE bill
so, i asked her if i hav any other way to get the money today
she said go to DBS, they can giv cash,
omg omg, cash pon cash la !

so, dis tired pig went to DBS,
the queue was ok, but the service EHEM!
u noe, i noe.
got my cash, perspiring.
erggh, deposit it back to my acc
and den straight away pay my bill
dat was only first part of my day. huhu

went to training, less ppl,
was like 9 awok awok oni.
OMG OMG, learnt new ragam, hoho
tk tipu, it looks easy, sounds easy,
to co-ordintate is so eff hard.
ergggh, must try harder.

aft dat got to meet Juf
hehe, lepak ard my area for like 1hr
till my fone rings *hoppa, zunea zunea hoppa*
ibu was on the line asking when im gg back
haha, rushed home and here i am now blogging

*missing dis ppl*

haiishh, i felt like a pig nowadays
jux sitting infront of lappy, surfing the net
ergggh, notiing for me to do
no money, find job, all wanted the full-timers
DAMNIT

yesterday was supposed to teach TOT ragam for juare
erggh, im so sorwiie, somting happen in the the nite, mood out
like erggggh, damn it damn it
cooling down nihh

hehe, later gg for training.
im so missing

TINI, IILY, TASHA, YANI


omg, maner korg menghilang
hope dat aft bulan puase or when start skool,
korg gi traiining kaes.
miss korg laaaahhh

aft training, meeting juf,
hehe, yea, the way to forget akmal

hm hm hm

ok, i woke up late jux now.
haha, actually didnt hav any plans to go back to my sec sch
coz, wen i ask random ppl in my old class, they say, lazy

BUT
jannah text me, she said she coming down,
so, i came down wif so little ppl left
ok, nemiind, we talked like nobody business
BCOZ, it's been a long time man!
farhana, hazri, dhuha, jannah, wendy
hoho

*sorwie, pixcha blur babes *

we went bowling at csc.
however, farhana cant join us, taking her o levels
sad, next time we go tgt kaes, babe!
ahha, got 1 strike oni. haiiyo!
my old bowling mates.
last time aft skool, will go at least 2 weeks once
haha! wendy got the highest score : 108 ! OMFG

aft dat, straight away go dikir training, hehe
TOT, wad happen to u?
haiish, feel so sad, later we share share kaes babe

aft dat, Juf sent me home from boon lay, hee
took the longer route, hehe
bought for ibu and bro magnum
hehe, sit ard my blok
den went home, hehe, had fun man!
hehe, tankiiew bby